Frequently Asked Questions

Deyin'a is my title, like Father or Rabbi. I created it myself from the terms Deyin, which means Doctor, and 'a, meaning cloud. Put together, this honors not only my gender identity, religious title, and spirituality, but it honors a guardian aspect of my tribal traditions. -more on that in a moment.

Yuni comes from Unne, meaning "you do it." and is a sort of mantra, reminding me to take responsibility, to dive in, go for it! Kaikyo comes from Behlkaikyo, which is our word for morning star. the symbolism of the morning star is sacred in many Native American traditions. 

In our culture, it is very normal to have spirit animals except they can be anything, not only an animal. Most people are okay with imagining ancestors or healing stones as guardians, not so many are willing to sit with strange guardians. Yet, wouldn't many people over the age of 21 understand the sacred connection with toilet guardian? While those with chronic pain might be familiar with bathtub guardian. How about tea guardian, or alarm clock guardian? 

The cloud symbolism is meant to indicate that I have many guardians, so many that they are like a cloud. 

Wailaki is the Winnemem Wintu word for my tribe. It means 'North Speakers' and referenced that we were the tribe furthest north that spoke their language.  We are from the Eel River, slightly southwest of Mount Shasta in California, USA. Our word for ourselves is 'Kenest'e' which means 'the People'. 

we have always been a very small tribe, and our main cultural offering was elaborate doctoring schools. As with other forms of medicine, there are many types of doctors, and this word fills a role similar to priest, doctor, therapist, mediator, or medicine worker.

We are heavily individualistic, and you can't really tell a Wailaki what to do. Prior to contact, we never had a reason to count over 100. We always married outside the tribe, and we lived a pretty great natural life in Northern California. Genocide was extremely successful with Wailaki, and there are roughly around 5000 Wailaki alive today

in the early 2000's I began to understand my reality of being a 'Nathulgahai', a type of Dreaming doctor, but I wouldn't have the Wailaki words for this for a few years. I was very drawn to dreaming magics like Seiðr, dream interpretation, and the different ways symbols can be interpreted. Eventually, through tiny fragments of what was preserved of our tribes spirituality, I was able to start to understand concepts like Contrary, Nathulgahai, and our father, that had been present but unnamed my whole life.

This is a closed tradition. No one can choose to be a Nathulgahai, and there is no punishment if I never act as one, but the more I exercise within my tradition, the more I am able to do to help my community. It is important to understand that Wailaki are a nation of contraries. This means we naturally break rules. Things are naturally very complicated and difficult, and this is a universal Wailaki experience. 

In Native American spaces, terminology associated with clergy is deeply connected to trauma and pain, and so we very rarely refer to a spiritual leader as 'clergy'. Until very recently, I wouldn't use that term at all to describe what I am. I would simply say I walk in medicine traditions. I explain why I began to use the term clergy and wear a collar in this blog post.

I am ordained through the Universal Life Church, which has allowed me the ability to learn and grow over the years without being locked into oppressive dogma.  I am not the kind of clergy to convert you. My form of ministry is presence in the community.

I am loosely connected with the Catholic church through my day job, I occasionally serve as Acolyte, and I sing in a Liturgical choir at the University I attend. While my attire is absolutely Roman Catholic coded, it is intentional to create conversations around ordaining women, transmasc and non-binary folks. In San Francisco, it is fashionable to be progressive, so everyone is quick to validate me as a 2 Spirit Medicine Worker, but the conversation turns sour quickly when I put on a collar. 

I am still ordained, even if people are uncomfortable with the genitals under the cassock. I don't see why it's part of the conversation. the point of the cassock is to hide genitals from view.

I was confirmed as a Roman Catholic in 2022 and I took the confirmation name of Ignatius de Loyola, Inspired by the many absurd overlapping realities of our lives. It was because of the Spiritual Exercises written by St Ignatius that I came back into the church, and found a reason to engage with Christianity again. It helped me to let go of a lot of my religious trauma, and I'm very grateful for the experience.  

I'm not a perfect Catholic and I don't aspire to be. I want to model a form of Catholicism that is completely ruptured from guilt and sin. Truly free. That means living my life wearing a Roman collar knowing it will other me. Knowing that people that might agree with me can't be seen supporting me, and how sick this institution really is.

A contrary is a social role in many Native American cultures. This is a role that specifically mocks, challenges, or questions traditionally accepted aspects of life. It is easy to compare it to a Satanist, but it is also easy to compare to an Autistic or otherwise disabled person. Simply by living our lives, there are larger conversations created around us.

I'm more likely to identify as Luciferian instead of Satanist, but neither label is entirely appropriate.  This might seem confusing so let me explain the major differences. 

A Satanist is often a political role, it is an active role visible in the community, pushing against perceived toxicity or abuses in the church such as genocide or pedophile apologizers. Their tactics are aggressive on purpose, because they recognize these abuses have continued without challenge from the larger church body.

Luciferians are commonly referred to as 'the stuck up librarians of Satanists'. This isn't wrong. we're less likely to be activists, more likely to be in a room learning a long dead language to translate an old document.

Luciferians are not automatically angry at the Abrahamic God, but there is still the concept of adversarial magic, perhaps better expressed as Adversarial Theology. I explore themes of Luciferianism and Ethnocentrism often on my blog, so make sure and check there for more information.

I am absurd! Sometimes I embrace it, sometimes it embarrasses me. I don't always want to be the weird one, but it's the only flag I have, so I wave it proudly.

If you think I'm a faker, you are approaching understanding what it means to be a 2 spirit contrary. I feel like a fake too. But the authority that I have from skydaddy is just as good as your authority from skydaddy. 

I have to do what I have to do in spite of fears of not being enough. If we all stand around and wait for someone to say we're qualified to make the hard decisions, horrible decisions are made for us.